The Misappropriation Of Patriarchy
In close knit animal groups,it is not uncommon to find a male as their leader who manages and directs the affairs of the clan. He's a dominant male,yes. The alpha male,but he's not highhanded neither is he tyrannical in his rule as he maintains justice,fairness and equity. He also takes his job seriously and guards it as jealously as his folks.
This trait however not absolute, is prevalent. Sadly,the reverse is the human situation. To find that amongst animals which we believe are of lesser intellect seem capable if maintaining dignified social structures with emotional integrity than us is a cause for concern.....isn't it? Well,maybe between animals and humans,there is that core difference of intentions or a misplacement of the sense of duty. For the former,it's the desire to carry out his natural duty for the latter,it's about dominance, power and control.
Essentially, patriarchy is consistent with our existence as humans. It is acceptable within its confines. Like everything in the hands of man, its extreme is misogyny. Misogyny is not only a threat but in fact calamitous to the desired balance we seek as humans. Misogyny is something condoned,perpetrated and propagated ironically, not only the men but the womenfolk who are the potential victims. For some women especially, oppression,abuse or violation carried out by any man to a woman of any age is a well deserved punishment;one she earned from something she must have done or a compromising situation she put herself in. For some,it's not something to talk about. They act like it's a fiend that'll come creeping out of the dark and snatch them into an abyss of damnation. So in my mind,misogyny isn't exclusive to men;women who back them up or back out of it are also misogynists.
When a woman stands up and says this must stop, she's called names by men and sadly, women alike. Some people who see the truth may say she speaks the truth, but not all truths are to be spoken in the open. But if we all refuse to have that conversation, if we all choose to be quiet, we would watch our patriarchs, our protectors,providers,lovers and loved ones become tyrants,usurpers and villains. When will the vicious cycle stop if we refuse to speak out? The effects are similar for all women of all ages and class. There's imbalance, there's lowered productivity mostly,there's fear. We do not realize that the effect of the threat of violence is almost equal to to the action of violence itself. Some violence spoken could trigger some actual violence experienced making the victim relive a trauma all over again, reawakening a sleeping but not dead demon.
One very common form of misogyny we condone,spread and is gradually becoming our narrative is that a woman raped asked for it and got what she earned cos she must have showed off too much skin and other bs. If that is the case,how come women who cover are also victims? Or young prepubescent girl,with no cleavage or hips to show? Or wives who are victims of their husbands? Or daughters,victims of their fathers? Nieces victims of their uncles? We need to be truthful to ourselves and admit that the core is, men need to tame their senses. Have their hormones watered down. If a woman chooses to dress in a certain way,doesn't the man have the option of what to think and how to act? Or isn't it clear that to some people, merely being a human female is enough a reason to be victimized? Evil condoned or ignored is worse than the evil perpetuated itself and those who condone or ignore evil are equal to its perpetuator.
Men and women alike need to stop conceptualizing women as objects of pleasure. Like toys;to be picked up and dropped at will. Men and women need to see women as humans with choices and freedoms. Violence of any form,however passive;from any gender is an expression of the violence within. There's the need for courage and urgency to stop it before or as it unfolds for what we do not realize is that trauma not transformed and be transferred. There's no excuse for violation of any woman.
This battle ironically has not been and can not be fought by women alone. I'm always elated and grateful when I find men who are sons,brothers,husbands,uncles, grandfathers,scholars,professionals, laymen who stand up,put their feet down and say NO. This has to stop. Such men are the beckon of hope. They're the ray of light on this long,arduous and dark tunnel. They are those men who truly understand patriarchy in its true form; sentry duty. All good men are protectors of womankind;not their abusers nor molesters. They are the allies that show that one woman somewhere has done her job right.
This conversation isn't for victims only. It's for everyone with a conscience. It's for every girl,every woman and every gentleman. This is a conversation for the entire human race.
Image from The Odyssey Online